Why You Should
Date Rishabh
Past romantic performance is not indicative of future results. No VC funding was harmed.
The 30-Second Pitch
Small-town kid from Bhilai, Chhattisgarh who built his way through Bangalore and landed in Bombay. VP of Product who secretly thinks he's an artist. MBA from IIM Kozhikode who writes 22,000-word manifestos for fun. A man with six side projects and opinions about your font choices. He will plan the most beautifully documented date of your life in Notion — and then maybe, just maybe, actually ask you out. Probably after one more revision.
Visual Due Diligence
The Face Behind
The Pitch Deck
Unfiltered. Unedited. This is the range.
Looks different in every photo because he lost a whole person's worth of weight and his face keeps changing shape. The wavy hair and the glasses are non-negotiable. The stubble is seasonal. The gym arc is new and he's unreasonably proud of it.
He has built more landing pages for companies he wants to work at than most people build for companies they actually work at.
Character Development
Four Career Arcs, One Guy
Click through. It gets more unhinged with each season.
Started in strategy consulting because he wanted to understand how businesses actually work. Learned that most companies don't know their own strategy. Spent 2 years making slide decks that changed executive minds. Discovered he'd rather build the thing than advise about building the thing.
Structured thinking, first-principles reasoning, the ability to find the real problem hiding behind the stated problem
Full Disclosure
The Good, The Bad &
The Absolutely Unhinged
The Good/Bad/Ugly. Honest reaction?
The man who writes beautiful outreach that stays in drafts will one day write you a love letter that actually gets sent. Probably.
Personality Wrapped
What He's Actually Like
When Nobody's Watching
The things that won't fit in a Hinge prompt.
"The Psychology of Money" — Housel. Will quote at dinner.
"Thinking in Systems" — Meadows. Explains half his worldview.
"Sapiens" — the predictable choice he'll defend unpredictably.
"Obviously Awesome" — April Dunford. Positioning is a love language.
Anything about why India is the way it is.
Why Indian cities are designed the way they are
How AI changes the meaning of creative work
Font pairing (yes, as a personality trait)
Making financial products that don't make you feel stupid
The gap between what India builds and what India deserves
Cutting chai at least once a week
Sunday morning with zero agenda
Conversations that go somewhere unexpected
Building something — anything — with your hands or head
Never pretending to be less interested than you are
Brooklyn Nine-Nine on loop like a comfort blanket with badge numbers
Attack on Titan taught him more about organizational strategy than IIM did
Currently emotionally devastated by a K-drama couple that doesn't exist
Will pause a show to explain why the cinematography matters. You didn't ask.
The Office, Seinfeld, and Suits are personality traits at this point
Spending more on Claude than on groceries. The AI validates his font choices. That's worth every rupee.
Watching Shark Tank India and armchair-analyzing every pitch
Making Notion dashboards for things that don't need dashboards
3 AM conversations with Claude about whether a button should be 'Submit' or 'Let's Go'. Monthly bill looks like a small car payment. He considers it an investment.
Reading his own old LinkedIn posts and thinking 'damn that was good'
Market Analysis
Rishabh vs. The Average
Guy on Hinge
| Hinge Guy | Rishabh | |
|---|---|---|
| Opening Line | "Hey" | A 4-paragraph thesis on why your third photo reveals impeccable architectural taste. With references. |
| Side Project | "Thinking about a podcast" | 6 repos, 18 AI personas, and a 22,000-word manifesto. The podcast is in the roadmap. |
| Dinner Plans | "Wherever you want" | 4 Bandra options mapped with ratings, vibe analysis, walking distance from the station, and a backup in Versova. Booked the one with best natural lighting. |
| Texting Back | "wyd" | A Loom video explaining why he was 3 minutes late to reply. Runtime: 7 minutes. |
| Love Language | Physical touch | Building you a custom dashboard to track shared goals. With dark mode. |
| Meeting Parents | Nervous small talk | Arrives with a slide deck. "Aunty, I'd like to walk you through the roadmap." |
| Saying 'I Love You' | After 6 months, casually | After 4 months, in a beautifully typeset letter. Then immediately asks if the font choice was right. |
| Fight Resolution | Ignores it until it passes | Creates a shared doc titled 'Things We Should Align On' with action items and owners |
| Binge Watch | "Let's watch whatever" | A curated queue: 2 episodes of a K-drama, 1 anime arc, Brooklyn Nine-Nine as palette cleanser. Has opinions about subtitle fonts. |
| Post-Breakup | Sad Instagram story | A 194K-impression LinkedIn post: "What My Ex Taught Me About Churn." Goes viral. |
Rishabh vs Hinge Guy. The table was convincing?
He treats Maggi like a product launch and relationships like a Series A. You've been warned.
Surveillance Report
A Day in His Life
Dramatized for narrative effect. Spiritually exact.
Mumbai, Specifically
Where He'd Take You
Chai at the tapri near Versova beach, because if the conversation’s good, the setting doesn’t need to try hard. You’ll stay an hour longer than planned.
Bastian or Americano — because now he’s showing off a little. He’s researched the menu. He has opinions about the lighting. The reservation was made 4 days ago.
He cooks. Chicken. Actually good chicken — the kind that makes you quietly recalibrate your expectations. The playlist was curated. The lighting was considered. He’ll pretend it was effortless. It was not.
Performance Review
Honest Ratings From
An Unreliable Narrator
The Real Metrics
Numbers That Actually
Tell You Something
Social Proof
What People Would Say
If We Asked Them
We did not. Dramatized. Spiritually accurate.
“He once asked if a hex code felt 'emotionally grounded enough' for a portfolio. I was eating lunch. I'm now on my 14th unsolicited font recommendation. Would still recommend dating him.”
Unnamed Colleague
Has seen too many Figma files
“He wrote me a 22,000-word manifesto. I asked for a one-pager. He said 'this IS the one-pager. The full version is a website.'”
The Concept of Brevity
Deceased
“He's like if a TED Talk fell in love with a Notion template and they had a baby raised by Mumbai traffic. The baby has opinions about serif fonts.”
IIM Batchmate
Currently helping him with a different pitch deck
“Most people have a five-year plan. He has a five-year plan, a backup plan, a contingency plan, and a plan for what to do if planning fails. I have requested a day off.”
His Calendar App
Exhausted, filing for worker's comp
“He sent me a cold email so good I forgot I wasn't hiring. I'm still not hiring. I re-read the email sometimes.”
A CEO, Allegedly
Confused but impressed
“Bro literally built a 'Why You Should Date Me' website with scroll animations and a compatibility quiz. The bar for men is in hell and he brought a Figma mockup.”
The Group Chat
Simultaneously proud and concerned
“My son is very talented. He works too much. Please feed him.”
His Mother
Has given up understanding the side projects
Due Diligence
Compatibility Assessment
5 questions. Totally scientific. Definitely not rigged.
The biggest red flag is that he built this entire page instead of just asking someone out.
Product Roadmap
What Dating Him
Actually Looks Like
Week 1
He’ll ask what you wanted to be at 14 and whether you still want that. You’ll think about it for three days. He’ll text you an article about it on day two. You’ll wonder if he’s reading your mind or your browser history.
Week 3
You discover he has more GitHub repos than close friends. He shows you Mudda at 11pm on a Tuesday because you mentioned something about potholes. You find this oddly attractive. You are now part of the problem.
Month 2
He notices you keep losing track of a recipe you love. Two weeks later there’s a website. It has one recipe on it. Yours. The typography is immaculate. The deploy pipeline has CI/CD. For one recipe.
Month 4
You catch him at 1am asking Claude whether ‘I miss you’ or ‘I’ve been thinking about you’ better captures what he means. He sends neither. Then sends both. At 1:47am. You pretend you were asleep. You were not.
Month 6
He presents a “State of Us” deck. Quarterly metrics. A “Risks & Mitigations” section that’s embarrassingly accurate. You laugh, cry, then make him delete the slide about your “response time SLA.” He keeps a backup. You know he keeps a backup.
Year 1
The man who builds systems for everything has learned that some things don’t need a system. He still makes the chai too strong. He still reads your mood before you’ve said a word. He still has six side projects. But now, when you walk into the room, the laptop closes. Not always. But enough. That’s the whole love story.
Pre-Matrimonial Investigation
The Stuff You'd Actually
Ask Before Saying Yes
Because your mother will ask. And she deserves answers with good typography.
How He Handles Money
He once built an 18-persona AI council to help him make decisions. Imagine what he'd build to make you happy.
Investor FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
Terms & Conditions
By swiping right, expressing interest, or maintaining eye contact for more than 4 seconds, you agree: (1) Unprompted product analyses of restaurants, movies, and your apartment layout. The apartment one will be accurate. (2) "Quick coffee" means 90 minutes minimum. He has thoughts. The thoughts have sub-thoughts. (3) Your birthday gift will have a GitHub repo. And a README. The README will be better than the gift. (4) He will refer to your relationship as a "platform play" at least once. He will think he's joking. He is not. (5) He will build you something you didn't ask for. It will be over-engineered, under-tested, and weirdly touching. (6) Emotions take 2-4 business days to process but arrive as a beautifully articulated synthesis with inline citations. (7) He will never be boring. This is both the promise and the warning. They are the same sentence. (8) He may quote this page on the first date. Pretend you haven't read it. He'll know you have. Let him have this. (9) If it doesn't work out, the post-mortem will be the most well-structured document you've ever received. You'll keep it. (10) He will remember your coffee order after hearing it once. He will forget your anniversary. The irony is not lost on him. (11) Your friends will either love him or find him 'a lot.' Both reactions are correct. (12) On the days when everything is too much and none of the plans or projects or roadmaps matter, he will sit with you in the quiet and not try to fix it. He is learning that presence is a product too. (13) He is a work in progress who has done more work on the progress than most finished products.
You've read all of it. What now?
What he's looking for.
Someone who makes the overthinking quiet down for a bit. Who texts back not because of an SLA but because the conversation is good. Who sees the 6 side projects and doesn't say “pick one” but says “show me your favorite.” Someone real.
Okay. The AI had its fun. Here's Rishabh. No filter, no bit.
I know this page is absurd. I built it anyway because I'd rather be too much than not enough.
I'm not looking for someone who thinks this is normal. I'm looking for someone who reads all of this and thinks: “yeah, I'd get chai with that person.”
Everything on this page is true. The overthinking, the ambition, the 1am Claude conversations. But so is this: when I care about someone, I pay attention. Not to optimize — just because they matter.
The Ask
You've Read This Far.
That's more due diligence than most Series A investors do. You're already in too deep.
“hi I’m in love with you already when are we getting married. I’ve told my parents. my mom wants to know your rashi. I’ve named our kids. the first one gets your font opinions and the second one gets my ability to actually send messages on time. this is not unhinged this is efficient. venue preferences?”
First chai is free. Second chai is a pitch deck.
Mumbai, 2026
Built in sage green because he literally cannot help himself.